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.July 4, 2005 ' 01:09 Y
oh no.. i cant let go.. its so difficult. i need to right? i know.. but i cant. i'm falling to pieces and i dont wanna cuz i wanna sit and stare at you.<3 and i dont wanna talk about us. i dont want a conversation i just want to cry infront of you.<3 and i dont wanna talk about it cuz i'm in love with you.. and i have to let you go cuz obviously it was a mistake to you. what am i suppose to do? i cannot be broken.. i cannot be shattered.. i'm not sad.. i cannot be down.. i must be high up UP uP~!!! at least pretending i'm just fine will be better den showing to others that i'm not. cuz i will be.. and i am!! i must be and i would!! how bad can it be right? if you keep telling yourself dat you cant forget him den you wont but if you force yourself, you might make some other people happy. at least you see them smiling. okies.. i'll be just fine.hhmm.. watched WAR of the WORLDS on saturday with gloria, charmaine and camille. we were suppose to watch alot like love but gloria couldnt stay out late.. the show was superb!! cried alot of times in the cinema.. it was oh so touching and sad.*sobs!* i thought it'll be scary but it was very very VeRy sad-ing. didnt do much today.. met camille at tm to pass her the contact's case den went back home. completed all my homework and i have to finish this class newsletter.. today was really a boring day. i'm stuck at home simply just stonning, looking outside and sitting on my window ledge with my legs dangling out. comitte suicide?? no.. i dont think i would want to do it now. and i stay on the second floor comitte suicide what shit?? my stomache really hurts these few days.. all thanks to the popsicles... and i had ice-cream almost like everyday for breakfast.. must go on diet again. wait.. must i? i dont even eat for lunch and dinner... wahhhh!!!! irritating la. what is this man?!?! i need popsicles!!!*pppsssttt!!!* i want to go lala and gaga again... i need popsicles. i need someone.. i need you.<3>jia you siti!! you can do it!! jia you!!! xD popsicles.. *yummy!*
SITY KAY!